Spring is just around the corner and with the traditional springy cleaning, everybody is out to search for their new self. Something to make their life just more worthwhile. In the light of that renewing time I thought I’ll share my journey and my own experience with trying to live a cleaner life.
If you have been reading my blog up until now chances are you already know I’ve recently turned vegan, though I never really fully disclosed why. And though the reasons were pretty varied, the main endpoint was to rid myself of all the bad and let in the good, mainly because I felt like my body was in shambles.
The stress of my job, school and social anxiety took its toll. I’ve started binge eating whenever I got mad, or sad and my emotions were jumping up and down in an array of pure madness. Than around three years ago, I went to our family natural doctor (Yes we had one) and after a blood test in which I was diagnosed with Candida I decided to take the nutrition part of my life more seriously and stuck with the diet suggested for more than the time required, which mainly said to keep away from all sugar and wheat products. Now during that time I did manage to lose quite a bit of my weight, I’m not sure how much since I never really owned a scale, but the looks on people faces and frequent wardrobe changes suggested the magnitude of the change, I felt happier, yes. But I feel that despite those changes something still lacked inside. Sure, I might have looked better, my skin might have cleared away, but I never really dug into the core, and sure enough, a year after my diet started I stopped it and restarted my hazardous trail of emotional eating and belittling myself in every given opportunity.
Despite the fact that I’ve never really gave physical beauty too much weight on my everyday l did felt unattractive. I kept telling myself that since the world only judges people by their physical appearence (Sad, but true) than it might mean I will accomplish nothing, and my life were in shambles yet again.
I can’t really remember that turning point. That exact moment when I told myself that enough is enough. You have to take care of yourself and love yourself, because if you don’t you’re headed to a really dark place. But the point is I did, somehow manage to do so. I began researching a more natural lifestyle. I began learning the effects of Yoga, which I always adored but never really stuck too. I began going out on longer walks with my dog (and now dogs). I became more Independent, and bit by bit I’ve started removing other bad stuff and habits from my diet and life. It started with white wheat, than white sugar, and evolved to dairy and eggs and had finally turned to a mostly vegan lifestyle just several months ago. And I know some people think there’s something hypocritical being “Mostly” vegan, but I have learned that taking stuff to the extreme is never the best solution for me. My workaholic self used to not eat a thing during work hours and then jump and literally wreck the first thing I saw when I got home, so moving from one extreme to another just didn’t sound like a good solution, and now, for the first time in my life, I think, I actually force myself to take a lunch break. I honor my body enough to sit, like everyone, and eat lunch at the actual given lunch time, instead of my past 8 PM hour, that practically summed up my breakfast lunch and dinner all in one big meal.
For the first time in my life I’ve actually listened to my body. and I could honestly feel hugging me back.
My skin is getting clearer by the day, my body is getting more and more limber and I’ve actually really started loving myself.
Those “Imperfections” I thought made me less appealing now get an additional morning embrace. I’ve learned to embrace my body figure, learned to love my freckles and big eyes. I’ve learned to love my bare skin and curly hair, And when you love something you don’t let it go. You treat it right and you give it the respect it deserves.
I’ve promised myself to be more daring, more open-minded and I gave my body a promise to treat it like (“Cue cliché here”) a temple. Because we only have one body, and as far as we know, this might be our only life.
Change don’t happen overnight, and as unfair as it might sound, the only parts in life you really really deserve are the ones you work your ass for. I know it’s hard and sure I might stumble, but who cares? The only thing that’s important for me right now is to stick to it and have as much fun I possibly can doing so. And yes, it is fun! Nothing beats waking up in the morning with an actual smile, and not that ridiculously awful grin that used to graze it.
Lots and lots of love
To both your body and your soul 🙂